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That Moment When It All Hits...

I'll try to keep this as out of the bummer realm as possible. That being said, this post is inspired by the passing of my Grandma. It happened a week ago. I've been doing pretty alright with it. But today I saw the exhausted and overly stressed faces of my dad and Grandpa and I heard the quivering in my Grandpa's voice as he jokingly scolded the new ink that has appeared on my arm since the last time I saw him. I'm working away from home and I took an hour to Skype with a house full of relatives; some I haven't seen for way too many years. It was a happy group. Grandma would've been elated. The thing that I was having a difficult time with, was the fact that Grandma wasn't there. I wasn't using my, now famous among the family, jackassery to make her laugh hysterically. I didn't realize how much that would impact me.

Like I said though: keep it out of bummer town.

My Grandma was unreal. Such a hip lady. I remember her talking about how "rad" things like my comic book collection were when I was a kid. She overly emphasized the word but somehow, that made her a million times cooler. When my Grandpa would get fed up with my shenanigans, he wouldn't be able to even come close to giving me shit for fear of the wrath of that little spark plug of a woman. I once saw her scream a couple Jehova's Witnesses down the entire driveway. I wouldn't be surprised if they went home and decided Atheism was probably a good new life choice. Teach those bastards to try to tell my Grandma she probably isn't a good person because she finds that screwy religion... screwy. I think I've made my point that the lady was a total badass.

She may have been one tough cookie, as they say but she was also very sweet. She was always on my side. It probably played a role in turning me into the incredibly vain shit disturber that I am today. She always told me how proud she was of me; even if it was just for tying my shoes properly...at 17. Maybe she was mocking me. That would be the best! If my Grandma had that great of a sense of humour and I just never caught on... Never mind. She was a sweetheart. She was there for a good chunk of those big moments. My college grad comes to mind. I even mentioned her and Grumpy in my presentation that we all had to do as part of our final mark. All the girls in the class let out an, "Awwwwweeeee" in unison. Needless to say I had that crowd in the bag and I aced the final presentation. So, there she was, telling me she was so proud of me again. I was insanely proud to have her there. I made people meet my Grandparents because, well, obviously they're cool as shit!

Grandpa is still a total dude and I will always remember Grandma as a very kind and far tougher than me woman. She was an Okanagan farm girl after all. As hard as something like this is, I know she had a good life. I'm so grateful for being able to be her Grandson and of course I'm grateful for her having my back at every Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving... etc. dinner when somebody would get a little too sensitive about my comedic stylings and she would step in to bust up some heads for me. It feels a little like I lost someone that completely understood my goofball antics and never got sick of them but hey, at least I had that with her for as long as I did. All the great things have to come to an end. Those solid memorable, quirky moments will be with me, at least until my mind falls apart. I'm sure that's a ways off though.

Some of these idiots...

I can't help but wonder how all the occupy protests would've turned out if the people who actually understood what they were mad about had the drive and firepower of the anti Mubarak protestors in Egypt and all the useless hippies stayed in their acid induced fantasy worlds. The only thing retard protesters, and I don't mean all protesters, in North America have ever been good for is helping the cause they're trying to destroy. Thinking you can fix anything with sit ins and not so clever signage is naive and embarrassing to watch. But the signs are pretty gosh darn cute!

It's amazing to observe how the focus shifts from reason and understanding to "hey, look at how ridiculous this spectacle is becoming". This is the point when the boring people with some sort of insight get pushed to the side by a guy riding a 9 foot high unicycle while juggling and chanting something negative about guys in suits shows up. It's pretty obvious who's going to be getting the attention here. And nobody in their right mind wants to be associated with moron hippies. The only reason hippies haven't figured out that they're the laughing stock of the world is because of some misguided form of self righteousness and that makes it even more fun to piss all over them. Who doesn't enjoy watching a righteous prick fail while trying very hard to force their views on everyone around them?

The point here is this: I'd say most reasonable people would agree that there is some seedy shit going on in Wall Street and it would be nice to see something like commodities trading go away but when you have massive groups of people attaching themselves to the "99%" cause who are on board with their own agendas i.e. "more free bus passes", "lower tuition", "kill the rich because they have money", then you will alienate and annoy the masses and they'll stop giving a shit about you. I feel pretty confident in saying that about 1% of the 99% actually understand economics and were at those protests with reasonable views and demands on government and banking institutions. How boring is that though? You aren't going to be on the news wearing khakis and talking facts. I've got a plan for you reasonable people: Get yourself some flamethrowers and head over to Wall Street. I'm sure your message will be heard.

Metal Vs. Dubstep

I have never really been that crazy about any electro music. That being said, I understand its allure and contrary to the not so clever title of this post I'm not trying to start a pissing match. I'm a pretty severe music geek. It's upsetting to everyone around me. I'm aware of this but I'm okay with it. Before this gets to sounding like some drugged out manifesto tirade I'll stop the deviation...Alright, we are all aware that heavy metal has always relied musically on a very heavy and dark low end sound. Most experts on the subject start going into detail about the "Tritone" "Diabolus in Musica" (The Devil in Music (Also a Slayer album (All Hail the Mighty Slayer))).Quick history about the Tritone: The Catholic church outlawed it at one point because they thought it would summon the dark lord (typical), it's common in our daily lives from every metal, blues, rock composition to the Simpsons theme song and all the excellent classical songs use it. It's safe to say that the Tritone gives a scary and epic sound to music. My brother made the simple yet perfect point that it sounds like going into battle. There's a trend here; epic dark sounds and battle go together and people who are attracted to metal usually like the helicopter scene in Apocalypse Now. No, wait, that's not it. Back to the point. Metal vs. Dubstep. So, why was I attracted to dubstep when I first heard it? At first I couldn't really figure it out but it became apparent pretty quickly that the drops and wubs were very similar to the stuff that some of my favourite thrash metal bands do in a lot of my favourite songs. Start off with some melody, then blow shit apart with an insane drop and double bass kick and continue mixing the clashing sounds throughout the song. You could also say that the sound is similar to a power metal saga about oh, let's say an "Angel's Holocaust". There's the connection: the dubstep that I find myself wanting to listen to has that perfect juxtaposition of a dreamy and melodic poppy or epic sounding intro that builds and builds but then all the sudden something happens and it goes very low and dark and of course it sounds like a robot on acid is trying to speak to you, or, if you're into Skrillex it sounds like a robot going through a wood chipper. The sound of Dubstep is definitely weirder and darker than any other electro music I've heard. This is thanks in part to the Tritone and in part to the fractured bass lines which sound nightmare inducing. The videos are usually way more fucked up too.The weird will attract. There's definitely some Id related, primal animal psychology thing happening here but that is a LOT of reading, so I'll leave it alone for now.

To the Best Friend I've Ever Had

A few years ago yesterday, well quite a few years ago actually, I lost an incredibly important person. My cousin who felt more like a brother passed away at 15. His constant approval was something I desired as a young man. He was my hero and I'm pretty sure he took full advantage of that knowledge on a regular basis. He knew he was a major influence on me and he reveled in it. He did all the great things a big kid does: bullying, play fighting, training me to cause just enough shit to not get into too much trouble but still have fun (I usually pushed that too far) and he was there for me whenever I needed a big brother looking out for me. I feel like I'm a better person for knowing him and learning from him.

I went through a few dark years trying to deal with the fact that the cosmos had robbed me of such a great person but I took a lot of comfort in things like music. In a big way Billy influenced my sick obsession with music and other forms of art, you know, comic books and crap like that. If it wasn't for my big cousin's bad ass ways I probably would have never bought a Pearl Jam tape at seven years old and well that would have been a fucking catastrophe. I used to dwell on all the terrible shit surrounding that situation but I'm glad that I can look back on things with a smile now.

Every time I spin a PJ disc, he's in the truck hanging out with me and that's something I'll never lose, well until the Alzheimer's kicks in but by that point I'll be so clueless that everything will be fun... Alright, unnecessary tangent. It's late, I'm tired and you should watch the video below. Thanks for everything buddy, cheers.

Thumbs Up For Skateboarding and Good Music

Have you ever noticed how many fucking rad music videos there are out there with a ton of skateboarding in em? Well if you haven't then here you are...










...There are lots more I'm sure but these are my favourites and I'm not here to fucking do everything for you!

Better Living Through Geology

Alright, I have been in camp for about a month and in that time some crazy shit has happened man. As my friend Rob would say, “I’ve seen some things, and some stuff. I wouldn’t recommend it.” Well actually, for the most part I would recommend this life in the north for the summer. If you possess that want for adventure and the possibility of extreme bodily harm, this fills the void right up. You end up in places where your only connection in the outside world is a satellite phone for daily reports to head office and a helicopter dropping food and supplies every once in a while. This is the life of a soil sampling fly camp. You spend the day walking between 5 and sometimes 9 km up and down and occasionally over mountains, digging holes and filling a pack up with soil samples. My only other co-worker is my brother Tyler and we averaged about 50 samples each a day, which turns a back pack into an extra 50lbs of heft by the time you head back to camp. It feels fucking great. We are both skinny as hell (even with excessive carb and protein intake). Soil sampling is by far the hardest job I’ve done up here but it actually does feel okay. It makes the days fly by. By the time our sampling ended I was in good shape, which is something new to me.

My psyche and my brother’s for that matter has become warped and twisted. We spend our evenings having conversations that go nowhere and mean absolutely nothing. We argue about things that do not matter in the slightest just so we can have some human contact after a day of being alone with our thoughts. I don’t even want to delve into how weird my imagination has become but in case you are interested I’ll print a small list of outlandish and just plain stupid things we have said to each other in the last month (they’re at the bottom dummy). What else? Just yesterday, I screamed at the rain. It wasn’t an angry scream, more one of those “manly, standing on a cliff, yelling at the mountain” type screams; you know the one? Oh, other points of unnecessary, insane aggression: when our magazine order from Whitehorse stuck us with the People magazine Twilight special edition instead of the Maxim we asked for we got annoyed. We decided to do some target practice. Ty got a nice shot at Taylor “Downy” Lautner and I put one right between the eyes of R-Pats with the .303 British rifle we had for bear control.

Speaking of bears, if you know anything about my brother, then you know he had some encounters with bears last summer. This impacted our camps. We were pretty aware of the fact that they’re definitely hanging around. The first day I saw fresh bear shit while working I started going through my plan for fucking a bear up if need be (we don’t take the gun while we’re working. Too much weight and we work alone throughout the day etc...). My first plan was to just scream at it for a while because at this point that seems logical. I would be scared of me. My beard is insane, I look so sickly dishevelled and for some reason I feel like I could probably punch a bears teeth through the back of his goddamn skull. After all the bravado died down, I realized that I’m still just a puny human. Major bummer. My plan now is to pee myself, drop my pack, after grabbing my bear spray and bangers, grab my Auger – the tool we use for soil sampling; it’s Finnish – and back away like a scared asshole. If necessary, the Auger could probably do some damage to the bastard’s nose and we all know bears have super sensitive noses.

The smell in our tent became border line third world by the end of the month I’m assuming. My sweat started to smell like pot – a blessing and a curse. Spending time in a fly camp means no shower. Oh sure there’s a creek but have you ever tried bathing in a high alpine creek in the Yukon? I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure there’s a point when a man’s... manhood decides it has taken enough abuse and packs up and takes off. I believe a freezing cold Yukon creek would be the tipping point for mine. I poured some water over my head a couple weeks ago and that was enough for me. Basically we wipe ourselves down with wet ones when we feel it’s necessary and dream about showering back at the crew house in Whitehorse. This is a good motivator to work faster. This could be the only situation where I suggest not bathing for a month. My sample taking and hiking speed skyrocketed near the end of the project.

Mount Hinton is a beautiful place and I suggest checking it out if you ever get the chance. We spent time in Keno City as well, which used to be a pretty busy place with a silver mine. I think it has something like seven full time residents now but it’s a cool looking little town and it has an informative mining history museum. My brother and I could drive into town at times when we were at our first camp spot and the little general store actually has WiFi, so we had a minute or two of outside world contact every once in a while. One night when I was checking my e-mail at the general store, a driller (they’re all fucked) or possibly just a local old prospector from Keno berated us for about 10-15 minutes for stealing internet ( for the record, I gave the owner a bunch of cash for his hospitality). We didn’t pay much attention to the crazy old fella because it was pretty clear he was balls deep in a box of red wine. Ty and I still aren’t sure what he said to us but I think he warned us not to use the Keno City public showers (apparently they’re for locals only), he tried to hire us to soil sample his claim in the middle of Archer Cathro’s (the company we work for) claim and he tried to use our laptop to look at pictures of his wife. Again, his speech wasn’t quite up to snuff so I’m guessing a lot here. When we left, we heard him yelling something about “those fucking Archer Cathro boys.” He also said he was coming to our camp later that night. We slept with the gun close by...

To sum this thing up, our first month was a pretty good start to the summer and holy Christ has it flown by. Between Ty and I we have dug about 1500 holes, found some amazing rocks (Ty found a fist sized crystal), logged hundreds of kilometers of walking, had our blood sucked by thousands of mosquito bastards, fought no bears (though we were probably in the presence of a few), got out some aggression by shooting a magazine we didn’t like, came close to falling down a few cliffs, had our entire camp blow away in an insane windstorm, and I took one naked picture of myself for the 2010 Archer Cathro calendar. Is that even happening this year? Oh well, I can cross “standing naked on a mountain” off my list of things to do before the summer’s over. Peace out. I have to go dig more holes.

Lists of things we miss, music we like and stupid shit we said...

MUSIC:

Top 5 after work albums

1.Corb Lund – Five Dollar Bill (Songs about fighting Americans, working on oil rigs, taming horses and swilling back whisky. This makes for good camp hangout tunes.)

2.Hank Williams III – Straight to Hell (Songs about strange pills, Kid Rock being a “Yank” and a lesson on what is and isn’t country. This album explains everything about being a rebel/country punk in great detail.)

3.Mother Mother – O My Heart (This entire album has been stuck in our heads for a month. The weird moodiness and strange lyrical content goes great with our collective weirdness out here.)

4.Tragically Hip – Trouble at the Henhouse (A nice dose of Canadiana, strange poetry and Gordo’s weird voice are all I ever need from this band.)

5.Screaming Trees – Sweet Oblivion (Even though this album can get pretty loud it’s pretty relaxing as well. Weird. Awesome.)

Top 5 Work Albums

1.Queens of the Stone Age – Songs For the Deaf (I really never gave this album much of a chance but it might replace “R” as my new favourite. I’ve listened to it every day so far.)

2.Black Mountain – In the Future (Good for early morning twilight walking up mountain type situations.)

3.Screaming Trees – Sweet Oblivion ( Lanegan’s whisky drenched voice over the Connor’s guitar work is retarded good fuel for the hiking. “More or Less” has one of the best guitar intros evar!)

4.Bison B.C. – Dark Ages (Metal Thrashing Madness. Listening to this usually results in me digging ridiculously deep holes.)

5.The Bronx – The Bronx (Hard fast punk rock that makes me feel like I could fight bears. Maybe not the safest thing but it helps me work faster.)

You know what’s great?

1.Dames...

2.Swinging yer legs over a bed in the morning and not waking up on the ground.

3.Having a glass of liquor with ice. Maybe just ice in general.

4.Downtime. Although no downtime does make for a quicker summer.